Raising Children
Not only am I single, but I also have no children. And you know what? In today's day, there is a part of me that is almost glad that I don't have children. Don't get me wrong ... I love children and a big part of my life is focused around them; around helping them to become all they were created to be. But to be a parent today, I'm not sure that is something I'd choose to do ~ I definitely would NOT do it alone, and to do it with a husband, even if we are on the same page and coming at the experience from the same direction ... I don't know if I'd be up for the challenges it holds today.
Don't get me wrong ... I think I'd make a good parent ... but then again, I wonder. I have a lot of friends that have children, and with all that has been found out about raising children, I'm amazed at what I witness ... what the child is exposed to on a regular basis, what the child is allowed to do and decisions that the child is allowed to make. With all that they claim to know, I am speechless at what I see them do. It has been proven via MRI scanning and such that there is a HUGE development that occurs at the age of 15-21, and prior to this there are thought patterns that a child is incapable of doing and executing ... regardless of how 'mature' the parent thinks their child is. It has been proven how crucial sleep is for a growing child - and yet, young children are allowed to stay up as late as their parents, and I won't mention the complete lack of sleep patterns in our youth today. I was also shocked when I heard the stats on how many 'murders' a child had seen prior to first grade on TV ... and now I think that that was a conservative guess. The amount of TV the average child watches is terrifying. To consider the effect of these alone on a young, growing, developing adult is staggering ... to realize that there are many more influences, is mind-numbing. And, face it ... they may stop physically developing by the age of 21, but we never stop developing in other areas as long as we live. How do we develop in a healthy manner? What do we DO to ensure that we do continue to develop in a healthy manner??
This last week, a high school I sub in had a speaker come out from the University to talk about the message clothing sends and the socialization and communication one engages in with their appearance. I really wish I could have gone ... but I didn't. See, this school (and I don't think they're alone on this) is beginning to have a very serious problem with the dress of their young women in particular. Today, with the girls raised on Brittney Spears and Christina Aguilera and Janet Jackson and all the other skimpily-clad, genital-gyrating role models in their lives (not to mention what is currently popular in the pop culture for these young people), it is a compliment to call a girl a 'ho' or a 'slut', it is desirable to wear your skirt so short that the slightest bend will display the lower half of the butt cheeks (for there is no longer 'underwear' that is worn but the ever-provocative 'thong') and the top is so revealing that one can identify the bra style, not to mention more cleavage than Queen Latifa in Chicago "When You're Good To Mama" ... at this school, male teachers have been embarrassed to witness what the girls in their classes have been wearing, have discovered that their concentration is on anything BUT the class material, and the guys are often so turned on that even their baggy pants cannot hide their challenges. Even I have, on occasion, wondered when did a certain hall become the resident red-light district for the school community ...
I have sat in a school assembly and watched as young adults barely in their teens have done everything but get naked in the middle of the assembly ... they don't even go to the back of the bleachers or hide beneath them any more. It is part of the 'fun' of being a teen guy to give and receive 'nerples' ... for girls to resemble something that got their fashion tips from a streetwalker or stripper. If this is what is 'common' in a public day-time setting like school, I am very concerned what is happening at home, when the parents are out, or when they attend a party.
I remember an episode of Oprah where they said that girls as young as 13 commonly give head instead of a 'goodnight kiss' when they go out with a guy. The guy expects it; the girl accepts it and gives it. The AVERAGE age for a girl to lose her virginity today in North America is 13-14.
If this is what is being taught as 'relationships' and what is appropriate, Lord help our future. I grew up in a time of free love, sexual liberation, and grass to get loose. What I am seeing now has me frozen with horror ... is this where my generation has led us?? and, where are we going from here???
I do not envy parents today ... the world of their children is NOTHING like the world they knew ... and if they don't develop a relationship with their child that is one of unconditional love (from parent to child and child to self), if they don't raise the child with a sense of discipline and decorum and respect, if they don't monitor what goes into the child, if they don't start when the child is BORN and take their complete role as a parent seriously ... then I cannot see how that will lead to a better society ... especially if this is the direction we have been taking. I'm not talking about being strict or dictatorial ... I'm talking about RAISING a child to be an adult.
I'm normally an optimistic person, usually able to see the positive and potential in all things. Right now, I'm flat-out concerned.
Maybe I'm just getting old.
Don't get me wrong ... I think I'd make a good parent ... but then again, I wonder. I have a lot of friends that have children, and with all that has been found out about raising children, I'm amazed at what I witness ... what the child is exposed to on a regular basis, what the child is allowed to do and decisions that the child is allowed to make. With all that they claim to know, I am speechless at what I see them do. It has been proven via MRI scanning and such that there is a HUGE development that occurs at the age of 15-21, and prior to this there are thought patterns that a child is incapable of doing and executing ... regardless of how 'mature' the parent thinks their child is. It has been proven how crucial sleep is for a growing child - and yet, young children are allowed to stay up as late as their parents, and I won't mention the complete lack of sleep patterns in our youth today. I was also shocked when I heard the stats on how many 'murders' a child had seen prior to first grade on TV ... and now I think that that was a conservative guess. The amount of TV the average child watches is terrifying. To consider the effect of these alone on a young, growing, developing adult is staggering ... to realize that there are many more influences, is mind-numbing. And, face it ... they may stop physically developing by the age of 21, but we never stop developing in other areas as long as we live. How do we develop in a healthy manner? What do we DO to ensure that we do continue to develop in a healthy manner??
This last week, a high school I sub in had a speaker come out from the University to talk about the message clothing sends and the socialization and communication one engages in with their appearance. I really wish I could have gone ... but I didn't. See, this school (and I don't think they're alone on this) is beginning to have a very serious problem with the dress of their young women in particular. Today, with the girls raised on Brittney Spears and Christina Aguilera and Janet Jackson and all the other skimpily-clad, genital-gyrating role models in their lives (not to mention what is currently popular in the pop culture for these young people), it is a compliment to call a girl a 'ho' or a 'slut', it is desirable to wear your skirt so short that the slightest bend will display the lower half of the butt cheeks (for there is no longer 'underwear' that is worn but the ever-provocative 'thong') and the top is so revealing that one can identify the bra style, not to mention more cleavage than Queen Latifa in Chicago "When You're Good To Mama" ... at this school, male teachers have been embarrassed to witness what the girls in their classes have been wearing, have discovered that their concentration is on anything BUT the class material, and the guys are often so turned on that even their baggy pants cannot hide their challenges. Even I have, on occasion, wondered when did a certain hall become the resident red-light district for the school community ...
I have sat in a school assembly and watched as young adults barely in their teens have done everything but get naked in the middle of the assembly ... they don't even go to the back of the bleachers or hide beneath them any more. It is part of the 'fun' of being a teen guy to give and receive 'nerples' ... for girls to resemble something that got their fashion tips from a streetwalker or stripper. If this is what is 'common' in a public day-time setting like school, I am very concerned what is happening at home, when the parents are out, or when they attend a party.
I remember an episode of Oprah where they said that girls as young as 13 commonly give head instead of a 'goodnight kiss' when they go out with a guy. The guy expects it; the girl accepts it and gives it. The AVERAGE age for a girl to lose her virginity today in North America is 13-14.
If this is what is being taught as 'relationships' and what is appropriate, Lord help our future. I grew up in a time of free love, sexual liberation, and grass to get loose. What I am seeing now has me frozen with horror ... is this where my generation has led us?? and, where are we going from here???
I do not envy parents today ... the world of their children is NOTHING like the world they knew ... and if they don't develop a relationship with their child that is one of unconditional love (from parent to child and child to self), if they don't raise the child with a sense of discipline and decorum and respect, if they don't monitor what goes into the child, if they don't start when the child is BORN and take their complete role as a parent seriously ... then I cannot see how that will lead to a better society ... especially if this is the direction we have been taking. I'm not talking about being strict or dictatorial ... I'm talking about RAISING a child to be an adult.
I'm normally an optimistic person, usually able to see the positive and potential in all things. Right now, I'm flat-out concerned.
Maybe I'm just getting old.
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