Hmmm .... + are you a Canadian???
I have been trying to post something here for the longest time, and it just hasn't been taking. This is a test post - to see if I am able to post or not.
In this small space, I want to recommend a book to those out there that care to read. It is called "How To Be A Canadian; Even if You Are Already One" by Will and Ian Ferguson. Since I'm not sure if this whole thing will post or not, I'm not going to go into a HUGE review, but enough to say that I have NEVER laughed as much or as loud as I did reading this book. Reading it in bed has been deadly - waking up the house!!
There are 17 chapters, and if you're not laughing ridiculously, you're amazed at how true the content is!!
Chapters include:
(1) Introduction (How to find Canada on a map)
(2) Canada: A Rich Tapestry of who to hate and why (How to mingle with Canadians)
(3) A Cross-Canada Tour (How to get Lost)
(4) Learning the Language (How to talk like a Canadian)
(5) Leisure Activities (How to waste time like a Canadian)
(6) Sports and / or Recreation (How to watch TV like a Canadian)
(7) Canadian Cousine and how to avoid it (How to eat like a Canadian)
(8) Mating Rituals (How to be romantic like a Canadian)
(9) Sex (note: this chapter has been sealed for your protection)
(10) Beer (How to drink like a Canadian)
(11) Art and Stuff (How to be as cultured as a Canadian)
(12) Social Values (How to be as upstanding as a Canadian)
(13) Imports, Exports and Escorts (How to make money like a Canadian - or not)
(14) How The Canadian Government Works
(15) Progressive Conservatives, Responsible Government, and other Oxymorons (How to rule like a Canadian) ... [side note from moi -- They will need to re-write this chapter! As we have no more Reform Party! and as of a week from today, God willing, we will no longer be a country under a Liberal majority rule]
(16) Twelve Ways to say "I'm Sorry" (How to be A Canadian -- in the Worst Way!)
(17) You May Already be a Canadian! (Take the quiz and find out!!)
Wanna know if you are? Here are a couple of questions from the Quiz:
~ If you hear the name "Elvis" and immediately think of figure skating, give yourself 1 point.
~ If you own a "Canadian Girls Kick Ass" T-shirt: 1 point.
~ Even though you, yourself would never kick ass: 2 points.
~ If you have been to Niagra Falls: 1 point.
~ In a barrel: 100 points.
~ If you've ever had a Naniamo bar. In a bar. In Naniamo, give yourself 2 points.
~ If you can stop for gas in Climax, Saskatchewan, and not make any wisecracks, 3 points.
~ If you don't understand the economy: 1 point.
~ But you invest anyway, subract 3 points.
~ Because you trust your broker: subract an additional 8 points, plus most of your life savings.
~ If you hop into your new PT Cruiser - built in Detroit, though the seat covers are made right here - and stop at a Starbucks for a latte, and then pick up the latest issue of "People" from your corner 7-Eleven, rent "American President", "American Beauty" and "American History" at your local Blockbuster, go home and watch them on your cozy Ikea Sklonjebeldt sofa, and without any irony at all, feel sort of proud to be Canadian: 1 point.
Yes, in our day of all sorts of scares and threats, of terrorism, wars, political elections, hate-mongering, fear-mongering, overweight, media brainwashing, anorexia, obesity, and all sorts of other things, if you feel you need to have a good laugh, this is the book to read. But make sure you are close to a washroom.
On a scale of 1-10, (1 being not worthy of your time, even if you borrowed it from the library and 10 being grab your money right now and RUN, don't walk, to your nearest Chapters, buy it and read it in one sitting) ... this book deserves a hearty 10.
Now to see if this posts ..... hmmmm
In this small space, I want to recommend a book to those out there that care to read. It is called "How To Be A Canadian; Even if You Are Already One" by Will and Ian Ferguson. Since I'm not sure if this whole thing will post or not, I'm not going to go into a HUGE review, but enough to say that I have NEVER laughed as much or as loud as I did reading this book. Reading it in bed has been deadly - waking up the house!!
There are 17 chapters, and if you're not laughing ridiculously, you're amazed at how true the content is!!
Chapters include:
(1) Introduction (How to find Canada on a map)
(2) Canada: A Rich Tapestry of who to hate and why (How to mingle with Canadians)
(3) A Cross-Canada Tour (How to get Lost)
(4) Learning the Language (How to talk like a Canadian)
(5) Leisure Activities (How to waste time like a Canadian)
(6) Sports and / or Recreation (How to watch TV like a Canadian)
(7) Canadian Cousine and how to avoid it (How to eat like a Canadian)
(8) Mating Rituals (How to be romantic like a Canadian)
(9) Sex (note: this chapter has been sealed for your protection)
(10) Beer (How to drink like a Canadian)
(11) Art and Stuff (How to be as cultured as a Canadian)
(12) Social Values (How to be as upstanding as a Canadian)
(13) Imports, Exports and Escorts (How to make money like a Canadian - or not)
(14) How The Canadian Government Works
(15) Progressive Conservatives, Responsible Government, and other Oxymorons (How to rule like a Canadian) ... [side note from moi -- They will need to re-write this chapter! As we have no more Reform Party! and as of a week from today, God willing, we will no longer be a country under a Liberal majority rule]
(16) Twelve Ways to say "I'm Sorry" (How to be A Canadian -- in the Worst Way!)
(17) You May Already be a Canadian! (Take the quiz and find out!!)
Wanna know if you are? Here are a couple of questions from the Quiz:
~ If you hear the name "Elvis" and immediately think of figure skating, give yourself 1 point.
~ If you own a "Canadian Girls Kick Ass" T-shirt: 1 point.
~ Even though you, yourself would never kick ass: 2 points.
~ If you have been to Niagra Falls: 1 point.
~ In a barrel: 100 points.
~ If you've ever had a Naniamo bar. In a bar. In Naniamo, give yourself 2 points.
~ If you can stop for gas in Climax, Saskatchewan, and not make any wisecracks, 3 points.
~ If you don't understand the economy: 1 point.
~ But you invest anyway, subract 3 points.
~ Because you trust your broker: subract an additional 8 points, plus most of your life savings.
~ If you hop into your new PT Cruiser - built in Detroit, though the seat covers are made right here - and stop at a Starbucks for a latte, and then pick up the latest issue of "People" from your corner 7-Eleven, rent "American President", "American Beauty" and "American History" at your local Blockbuster, go home and watch them on your cozy Ikea Sklonjebeldt sofa, and without any irony at all, feel sort of proud to be Canadian: 1 point.
Yes, in our day of all sorts of scares and threats, of terrorism, wars, political elections, hate-mongering, fear-mongering, overweight, media brainwashing, anorexia, obesity, and all sorts of other things, if you feel you need to have a good laugh, this is the book to read. But make sure you are close to a washroom.
On a scale of 1-10, (1 being not worthy of your time, even if you borrowed it from the library and 10 being grab your money right now and RUN, don't walk, to your nearest Chapters, buy it and read it in one sitting) ... this book deserves a hearty 10.
Now to see if this posts ..... hmmmm
Comments
you know you're Canadian when you go visit your cousin and her friend, both of which are cute and blonde in hair and mind, and yet they get their kicks from going gopher hunting with my uncle and throwing aresol cans in the burning barrel. 2 points for knowing what gopher season is....
also if you go to town fairs because they are more exciting than what is usually happening in town...
if you're grandpa was ever in a tractor pull
If you can be in an east indian fabric store and have hutterites on one side of you speaking in German, the store owner talking to another client in pubjabi, and you catch the eye of a black lady and kind of smile becuase it's amusing...
If you try to pull the "talking to Americans" stunts on American friends
If you go for supper at a mall food court with CHinese friends and they get tacos and you get chinese food
If you get warm fuzzy feelings when the hockey night in Canada song plays
If you know French words for corn flakes, milk, ect and things on your table that you read when you were bored and eating....