In Pace Requiescat

I am one, acquainted with the night
treading down endless sidewalks
to destinations unknown
over the next rise or around the next bend
which seems to never come
Past houses, dark and quiet
like mammoth creatures
with gaping eye and mouth, in opaque stares
frozen in stillness and time
Perhaps from one
comes forth beam from lonely window
guiding home a weary sailor
to warm bed and welcoming arms
but all around is soundless desertion
unbroken as it will always remain
Down rain-soaked streets I travel
lined with diamond shimmer circles,
jagged flashes of glittering white-light,
crystal string of pearls in peeking moonlight
And on through dusky mists
like a phantasm gliding along
the cat-like wisps of vapor
silent and still
in death like trance
I feel the bodies from far and near
in gutter and in bed
shivering in single grip or limbs entwined from heated stroke
still for the moment, but not peace
resting weary bones and spirits
escaping from pain and toil of life
By day they struggle and search
a never ending quest
for happiness, for beauty, for love
elusive as the rainbow's end
to pull them from this madness below

Yet I know it shall never be theirs.

I understand all, with nothing spoken
to know, to sense in a moment's instance
the suffering, the longing, the anguish, manipulation and hatred
the fear, the apathy, the passion, the lost
each man is
I weep with ultimate pain
my soul bleeds tears unending
to go through life, and end with hands empty
witnessing man's burdens and quest to no reprieve or completion
knowing but unable to say the word
see my final helplessness - in knowing but unable to act
I am powerless to console, to relieve, to encourage, to comfort
neither you nor I

And into forests of towering trees
holding their boughs in broken shadow
with but the whispered rustle
of intimate secrets shared,
beginnings and endings
and hushed toned promises
beckoning supplications
I upwards reach
to embrace velvet ebony
and pull it like a blanket to my soul
to find comfort in the knowledge
of which none can comprehend
its depth or its breadth
needing nourishment and healing
to end this torment
and discover peace ultimate
in One who is my all.

I am one, acquainted with the night

~ May 1998

(This was inspired from a walk home from the Internet cafe around 2am on the deserted streets of NamBundang, South Korea, one ethereal spring night.)

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