Happy Birthday to Me
The more I age, the less I want to remember what the age is ... in fact it was so bad one year that I truly thought all year that I was a year older than I actually was! How sad ...
Yesterday that I turned 42. Yikes ... does that look old! And I really don't feel like that is how old I am. I don't look that old, I don't feel that old, I don't act that old. Why am I that old? There are times when I contemplate the possibility of having something seriously wrong with me. Why? Well, no one that I know that is my age lives a life like I do ... and I realize that there is a certain sense of selfishness to my life, but there is also a component of immaturity, too, and that is something I really don't like. I recognize it, but to figure out what to do about it and how to change it ... something completely different.
42 - Wow. Yes, lots of life experiences, that's for sure. I know that as I reflect back over the years, there are things that I have journeyed through that few others have. I know that there are a lot of good character traits that I have developed, but there is much more yet to learn grow in.
I suppose I should take time to reflect back over things from the past year, and contemplate the future year. What things did I learn, what changed, and where do I want to go and perhaps find myself in a year's time. But, I'm so tired, that perhaps I'll come back and edit this another time. For all that has changed in the last year, there is much that has become more and more frustrating. I wonder if being forgotten by all my friends who knew (at one time) that it was my birthday yesterday, and not hearing from any of them might have something to do with it. No, wait ... that's not completely true. My father remembered (he took me to dinner). My brother ... no word. My (former) best friend ... forgot. But she never remembered the day anyway ~ and woe is me when I forgot hers one year! I suppose if I wondered where our friendship lies right now, this would be a good indicator. And who remembered ... is my former roommate from college, who I've reconnected with in the last year. She, of all the people in my life (and granted, right now that ain't many!), she remembered. Now, if I could only remember her birthday! October ... I think.
So, here's to another year. May I retain all the strength and changes that occurred this year, and continue to persevere and develop and grow in the year to come. God help me ... be with me, hold me, protect me, and I pray for the treasures of my heart.
Yesterday that I turned 42. Yikes ... does that look old! And I really don't feel like that is how old I am. I don't look that old, I don't feel that old, I don't act that old. Why am I that old? There are times when I contemplate the possibility of having something seriously wrong with me. Why? Well, no one that I know that is my age lives a life like I do ... and I realize that there is a certain sense of selfishness to my life, but there is also a component of immaturity, too, and that is something I really don't like. I recognize it, but to figure out what to do about it and how to change it ... something completely different.
42 - Wow. Yes, lots of life experiences, that's for sure. I know that as I reflect back over the years, there are things that I have journeyed through that few others have. I know that there are a lot of good character traits that I have developed, but there is much more yet to learn grow in.
I suppose I should take time to reflect back over things from the past year, and contemplate the future year. What things did I learn, what changed, and where do I want to go and perhaps find myself in a year's time. But, I'm so tired, that perhaps I'll come back and edit this another time. For all that has changed in the last year, there is much that has become more and more frustrating. I wonder if being forgotten by all my friends who knew (at one time) that it was my birthday yesterday, and not hearing from any of them might have something to do with it. No, wait ... that's not completely true. My father remembered (he took me to dinner). My brother ... no word. My (former) best friend ... forgot. But she never remembered the day anyway ~ and woe is me when I forgot hers one year! I suppose if I wondered where our friendship lies right now, this would be a good indicator. And who remembered ... is my former roommate from college, who I've reconnected with in the last year. She, of all the people in my life (and granted, right now that ain't many!), she remembered. Now, if I could only remember her birthday! October ... I think.
So, here's to another year. May I retain all the strength and changes that occurred this year, and continue to persevere and develop and grow in the year to come. God help me ... be with me, hold me, protect me, and I pray for the treasures of my heart.
Comments
What is wrong with us?
I'm like Peter Pan I guess.
I don't want to grow up.
I want to live like a 42 year old, but how?
I'm currently stuck in my teenage years. But I know that some day I will suddenly be forced to grow up.
I know I can do it.
Take care my fave Canadian:)